Saturday, January 27, 2024
Serotonin
Wednesday, January 24, 2024
Have you ever?
Have you ever
Feeling lost, but not because you don't know the direction
You know exactly where to go
But time doesn't allow you to do things right
Have you ever
Care so much about people
But you need to disappoint
Not because they are wrong
They are just not on the right timing
Have you ever
In a big, big battle
Where you, who are super confident with yourself for your whole life
Suddenly feeling small
A small speck of dust within the universe
Have you ever
In a doom loop
Where you always doesn't have time
Because everything is just too fast
Too fast, that it makes you feel dizzy
Until you need a painkiller to be asleep at night
Not because that you are not sleepy
But you really need to dampen the pain
That can explode your chest at any given moment
Have you ever
Shutting down your sense
Just to be peaceful
In doing wrong things right
Hell even if I can't be right
I don't wanna be that wrong
And I hope no one ever need to go through what i've been through
Jakarta, 24th January 2024
00.19
Sunday, January 21, 2024
Di sore itu
Di sore itu
Kita duduk di taman bunga, berdua
tempat yang asing bagiku
tapi favorit bagimu
Kamu bilang, ini tempat tidak ada yang tahu
karena cuma kamu yang punya kuncinya
Di sore itu
Senyummu lebih indah dari biasanya
sudutnya berbeda
Aku tahu persis derajat bahagiamu, dari sudut senyuman di bibirmu
Melihatmu sebahagia itu, pundakku menjadi lebih ringan
Di sore itu
Kamu bercerita tentang segala macam bunga
Tentu aku tak mengerti
tapi mendengar orang yang menjelaskan kesukaannya
membuatku ikut bahagia
Di sore itu
Tanganmu tak berhenti menggenggam tanganku
Sangat di luar kebiasaan
Aku tak tahu itu tanggal berapa
Hari spesial apa
Tapi yang jelas, perlakuanmu begitu istimewa
Di sore itu
Kita hanya duduk
sesekali rebahan, sambil mengobrol
di ruang kosong kecil yang dikelilingi bunga melati
Di sore itu
Kamu bilang, ingin hidup bersamaku
Selamanya.
Aku hanya tersenyum sambil memandang wajahmu
Kutahu itu tak akan mudah
Tapi kalaupun tak bisa
Aku ingin mati dan dikubur di sini
Agar tetap bisa jadi bagian dari kebahagiaanmu
Jakarta, 21 Januari 2024
22.37