The End.

I always imagine, what the end will look like

It will come with a burst of emotion

A fire

Explosion like a hydrogen bomb that destroys all of our buildings

The foundation that we’ve built together for a long time

It will come with a big argument

Where I defend mine

And you defend yours

Then we left that talk with a 200kg burden in our chest

It will come with a big bang

But instead of giving birth to life like in science

This one in reverse,

Will suck out life from every being

It will absorb all the light in my universe

What remains is a total darkness

Endless horizon with no appetite

That’s what I always ever imagined.

Turns out, I was wrong

It never comes with that grande spectacles

Instead

It comes with small steps

The ones that you never realize

Until suddenly you are on a completely different side of the world

It comes slowly

With expectation that one by one didn’t meet

It comes along with days when you want to be together, but turns out cannot

It comes along with you fighting your own battle

That you tried to share, to relieve a bit of the pressure

But you decided not to

Because you know exactly what that will end with

And you continue your life

With happiness that you seek elsewhere

Because of the difference

Up until a point where it’s pointless

Not because that you aren’t happy together

But because that mutual happiness circle becomes smaller, and smaller

Emotionally disconnected

Nothing left.

Different from what I imagined before,

The end comes with a peaceful intent

That you want to move on with your life

Jakarta, 3rd March 2024

15.22